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8 "Tips" For Incoming College Students

May 8th, 2014
By Eli Solidum
While most high schoolers are excited to start college and begin a new life, there will be some trouble adjusting. Remember these eight essential tips to help you during college! (If you take this seriously, you have already lost the game of college.)

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1. Swag is Everything.
Not sure what to major in? Pursue a career in Swag. Are you broke and need something to eat? Don't be a typical college kid surviving off Ramen. The average person with Swag can survive for 44 days off Swag alone. Having a hard time keeping up with class? Don't worry about it! Your swag will lead the way. After all, who needs a job when you have swag?
If you end up making absolutely no friends at college, it's because everyone else is intimidated by your swag. So tie a snapback around your belt loop, put two more on your head, and recite some tumblr quotes. Keep your head up man, your snapback might fall off.
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