If Disney Movies Were Historically Accurate

January 26th, 2014
By David Palmer
Disney movies have been accused of glamorizing women and making every little girl in the world think the only way to be successful in life is to be a princess. They also have had accusations against them that the insert genitalia into their films. Both of these claims are very accurate. But what you may not know is Disney films either ignore history completely, or end the film before the real consequences can be shown. So without further ado, let’s ruin your childhood…



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John Smith doesn't look so suave and handsome in real life, does he?
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7. Pocahontas
In this wonderful tale of a Native American princess falling for the young, handsome explorer John Smith, we see why Natives and colonists were friends. And there’s singing!

In real life, Pocahontas (whose real name was Matoaka, Pocahontas was a nickname) was about ten years old when John Smith came exploring into her village. Oh, and Smith was about 30 years old, which was pretty old by 1600’s standards. Pocahontas never saved Smith from her father, and they never fell in love and got married (I mean thankfully. You know, because of the whole Pocahontas being ten years old thing…). Oh, and let us not forget that many of the Jamestown settlers betrayed and slaughtered the Natives, and weren’t all buddy-buddy like in the film. But as long as you have a stereotypical Native American tree giving advice, who cares, right?

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