NFL Mascot Matchups: Week 2
September 13th, 2014
By Andrew Sweeney
Ever wonder what the NFL would look like if games were determined by which team’s mascot would win in a fight? No? Just me? Okay, well you won’t regret reading this anyway. Here’s a hilarious look at Week 2 of the NFL season, find out how your favorite team stacks up against their opponent!
By Andrew Sweeney
Ever wonder what the NFL would look like if games were determined by which team’s mascot would win in a fight? No? Just me? Okay, well you won’t regret reading this anyway. Here’s a hilarious look at Week 2 of the NFL season, find out how your favorite team stacks up against their opponent!
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Houston Texans at Oakland Raiders
In a battle of loosely-defined mascots, we find what we can only assume to be an average citizen of Texas (George Bush?) against some sort of modern-day pirate. Though the pirate’s combat skills are much more impressive than former president George Bush’s, I imagine Bush is able to “explainicate” who he is and how much money he has. In the end, the pirate walks away with a bag of money, and Bush walks away with a small dent in his wallet. Final score: Houston 20, Oakland 23. 
New Orleans Saints at Cleveland Browns
I honestly don’t even know what to make of the “browns” and their nonexistent mascot and logo. By default, I’m going to have to go with the saints, who will come marching in and bring a festive spirit to the city of Cleveland despite their loss. Final score: New Orleans 17, Cleveland 0. 
Atlanta Falcons at Cincinnati Bengals
In one of the more compelling match-ups of Week 2, we have a winged predator versus a ferocious feline. While one might think an aerial attack would be advantageous, the bengal tiger is known to be extremely agile despite growing to weigh well over 500 pounds. After a few vicious dive-bombs from the falcon, I see the bengal being able to paw it out of the air, immediately pouncing on its prey once it hits the ground. Final score: Atlanta 21, Cincinnati 27. |
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