So if you have not seen this already, take two minutes to witness one of the simplest, yet most cleverly executed pranks I've ever seen. For some background on the video, the teacher has a policy that every phone call must be answered and put on speakerphone. This girl's phone rings...

March 24th, 2014

Today, the Malaysian Prime Minister spoke the dreaded words that everyone feared, but was seemingly inevitable. He had confirmed that the flight that had mysteriously vanished had indeed gone down somewhere in the Indian Ocean, and that there were likely no survivors. It had been a chaotic two weeks since the flight initially went missing, but many relatives still held up hope that there was a possibility that they would see their loved ones again. Unfortunately, that was not to be so.

To further the bad news, search efforts were once again delayed. This time, gale-force winds, large waves, and torrential rains forced the search efforts to be called off. Supposedly, the Boeing 777 is close to being found, but it will have to wait a little while longer.

Best Director

I personally feel Paul Greengrass was snubbed for “Captain Phillips”, but it wouldn’t have mattered much, because it is pretty much a lock that Alfonso Cuarón will win for “Gravity”. If you watch any of the behind the scenes for the film, he had so much to do with creating the most visually stunning film ever (Avatar be darned). Steve McQueen could win for “12 Years a Slave” because of the emotional toll of that film, but honestly this would be an upset if anyone other than Cuarón wins.

By Eli Solidum

If you've never played the game, you've at least heard of it. And by hear of it, we mean you've played the game. This insanely addictive game has been literally everywhere, and yes, I mean literally. The simple gameplay and unimpressive graphics have given Flappy Bird an unexpected and overwhelming amount of success. I remember the first time I played the game and struggled to get past my high score of one for the first hour (I'm at a 76 now if anyone was wondering). That was only about two weeks ago, and now after boasting around a $50,000 daily ad revenue, Dong Nguyen, creator of Flappy Bird and ruiner of lives has decided that he is going to remove the highly popular app from the app store.

Now the first question that will pop into everyone's head is this.

By David Palmer


Despite the Warnings, You Downloaded the App

Your friends told you it was addicting. Some of them may have told you while being dragged away in a strait-jacket. But you went into the app store and downloaded the game anyway. And instantly regretted it.


The Bird Is Bigger than the Pipe Holes

Much like looking in a rearview mirror, that bird is at least twice the size it appears. On so many occasions I have been flying (if you can the pathetic flapping that demon bird “flying”) and despite appearing to be in the center of the pipes, he dropped like a stone, leaving me with a blank stare on my face.

By Brian Burns
@Burnsing_Up732

Since my college’s idea of planning for the future involves algebra and my parents’ career guidance usually includes the phrase “remind me what you’re majoring in again”, I figured it was time to hand the reins controlling my fate over to the supernatural. I got my palm read over the summer and it told me everything I had already guessed about my life: I’m pessimistic, I’m going to spend 86 long years being unlucky in love and I’m never going to grow into my eyebrows.

    A chakra beat away from slitting my wrists with a tarot card, the palm reader changed her tune. Choosing to ignore one last bomb about stress-induced head aches and gray hair, I began to drool at the sound of “you’ll never need to worry about money” and “you’ll never have children”. These positive fortunes left me so distracted that I barely noticed Stevie-wannabe-Nicks’ final prediction that I would begin 2014 with some sort of life-changing trip. 

    I spent two weeks in Spain during my senior year of high school and I thought that would be the extent of my studying abroad. I always figured that I didn’t have the money to travel and that I enjoyed watching Roseanne marathons with my hand down my pants too much to spend extended time away from home. But when a major-specific exchange program to Sweden was announced, I couldn’t resist applying to a program that would allow me to get credits in communication and blonds.

    My application process to Jönköping University was easier than you’d think. The exchange program was announced during the first week of October and yet I still spent a greater percentage of that month picking my Halloween costume and visually eviscerating white girls holding pumpkin spice lattes. By the time I bought my Andy Warhol wig and Dunkin’ Donuts added me to their most wanted list, I got word that I would be spending the first half of 2014 eating Swedish meatballs. In multiple contexts.

    Once I was accepted for the exchange, I wasn’t sure where to begin. At Emmanuel, academic buildings and hot meals were a hop, skip and an Our Father away and yet I still dealt with two to twelve existential crises a week. In Sweden, I would be spending January to June in my own apartment, cooking my own food, using public transportation and resisting the urge to purchase clothes, shoes, deodorant and other non-essentials. In other words, I’d be entering adulthood: a stage of my life I figured was at least another decade away.

    I already had my passport so an unflattering photo taken under hellish fluorescent lights was checked off of my to-do list. This left me with more time to google “Swedish kronor to American dollar conversion” and “what do I have to do to become the fifth member of ABBA?” As I delved deeper into the internet, I soon discovered that a bottle of wine in a Swedish liquor store would cost me more than a leotard grand enough to fit in with Benny and Agnetha. Friday night and my budget’s low.

    Ordinarily, I pack for college using the sniff-and-toss method: if the odors emitted from an article of clothing don’t immediately peel the paint off the walls, it’s good to go. Packing for a climate that ranges in extremes from six hours of wintry gray-light to summertime Swedes in bathing suits posed a unique challenge. Keeping half-a-year of your life under fifty pounds in weight can be liberating for some. For me, it was just a reminder of how lame my taste in underwear is.

    After some emotional goodbyes—to my family, my dog, my fridge—I boarded the plane and quickly remembered that tall people weren’t built to travel. If I wanted to sit comfortably, I would have to forfeit both legs below the femur. If the flight attendants hadn’t felt the need to deliver a meal every half hour during the overnight flight, I just might have crafted make-shift tourniquets from shredded strips of Sky Mall. 

    Hurtling forward in time at hundreds of miles per hour, I had time to think about where I was coming from and where I was going. I felt anxious and excited and bloated and, most of all, grateful to that hole-in-the-wall where I got my palm read. A cynic would argue that her divination of a “big trip” was vague enough to inevitably come true—who goes a year without experimenting with LSD? But I would disagree. If I hadn’t received that nudge from the heavens, I might not have had the balls to spend this semester in Sweden. Fate lies in our hand. And if you don’t like the cards you’re dealt, just shrug and show lady fortune your other palm.




Brian Burns is a Staff Columnist for The Hub and may be reached at burnsb@emmanuel.edu and @burnsing_up732.

By Dillon Smith
@DillonSmithNFL

This is THE time of the year for NFL draft followers and junkies, with so many workouts and events taking place for hopeful players taking place nearly each and every day. Coaches, players, and scouts will be getting very little sleep these next couple of months with so much riding on how well these athletes perform in front of team representatives. Players will rise and fall, and teams will be plugging in where they want to nab certain players at certain areas in the draft. 

A lot of strategy and careful planning that goes into a draft day war room, and that is one of the most magical things about everything that the draft stands for, aside from the number one priority of young players starting their NFL dreams. Here, we will take a look at what the top five teams could do with their draft picks.


1. Houston Texans

Draft day needs: QB, DE, TE, DB

Of all the positions listed above, quarterback is, in my opinion, the most glaring need for this Houston Texans squad. Bringing in a new head coach and a bunch of new staff might be just the thing the Texans need with so much talent already on that young roster. Drafting a quarterback to grow and develop with a great quarterbacks coach like Bill O'Brien is the safe and smart move going forward for Houston.


2. St. Louis Rams (via Washington Redskins)

Draft day needs: OT, DT, DB

The Rams are seemingly in a great position to add some value to their team with the potential to trade down in the first round and grab a few extra picks in the process. As you will read later on in this article, there are one or two teams who seem to be very eager to trade up and get their guy. Should they decide to instead keep this draft pick at the number two spot, look for them to add the best offensive tackle available.


3. Jacksonville Jaguars

Draft day needs: QB, DE, OLB, WR, CB

There are a lot of needs at various positions in which the Jaguars much address, but the undeniable and consensus pick selection needs to be a quarterback. Blaine Gabbert has been anything but a first round pick since he was selected and Jacksonville needs a spark to get this team heading in the right direction. With a good coaching staff and a few current players already on the roster that are definite building blocks, the Jaguars just need another strong draft to become relevant again.


4. Cleveland Browns

Draft day needs: QB, RB, WR, DL, S

Reports are surfacing that the Browns are very interested and possibly willing to trade up to draft former Texas A&M Aggie Heisman winner and star, Johnny Manziel. Whether the Browns are indeed interested remains to be seen, but they will need to add some weapons around Manziel, should they pull through with it. If this is the case, this could potentially be the player to build around and help return some much needed pride to the city of Cleveland and their football team. 


5. Oakland Raiders

Draft day needs: QB, RB, WR, OT, DE, S

While there are several good young players for Oakland Raiders fans to be excited about, they still lack any real firepower on offense and defense. The Raiders could really use a strong leader to help lead this lackluster group of players and direct them down the right path. There are several quarterbacks who might still be available(, Blake Bortles or Derek Carr,) that Oakland could go with, or pick up the best player available and wait till the second round to target their next potential starting quarterback. 

By David Palmer
SUNY

There were plenty of good films in 2013, and a few great ones. Here are my top 10 films of 2013. If you disagree with my rankings, or even hate one of the movies on here, then too bad, they’re my opinions. Welcome to the internet, my friend.

Honorable mention goes to “Gravity”, which was number 11 on my list and was one of the most visually stunning films in the history of cinema.


10. Saving Mr. Banks

The movie about how Mary Poppins got made into a movie turned out to be as entertaining as it was emotional. Tom Hanks and Emma Thompson both nail it as Walt Disney and P.L. Travers respectively, and the songs were infectious.

9. This Is the End

A very fun time at the movies. Huge credit to Seth Rogen who not only gave a funny performance, but wrote a hilarious script and gave a solid directorial debut alongside Evan Goldberg.

8. The World’s End 

In a year filled with apocalypse films, this British comedy from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost was as entertaining as a sci-fi as it was as a comedy. Edgar Wright’s direction was quick paced and electric and it had some great social satire.

7. Monsters University

Disney-Pixar nailed it again with this prequel, and while it may not be as memorable as the Toy Story sequels or even the first Monsters Inc., “University” had some great laughs for both kids and adults and was gorgeous to look at.

6. Iron Man 3

Immensely entertaining and featuring a very witty script from Shane Black (who also did a great job directing), this third Iron Man may not have been as good as the first film but it was pretty darn close, and was by and far better than this year’s other Avengers film, Thor 2.

5. 12 Years a Slave

Great performances highlight this brutal look into American history. Chiwetel Ejiofor and Michael Fassbender knock their performances out of the park and while this film is by no means entertaining, it is very good and the ending will leave not a dry eye in the house.

4. Dallas Buyers Club

Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto carry this movie to the heights it reaches as AIDS victims who open a pharmacy full of unsanctioned drugs. Both of these men transcend acting and become their characters, and the film was as fun as it was honest.

3. Prisoners

Unbelievably intense, this film had great performances from its star cast, including Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal. It had several twists and turns and the ending had me on the edge of my seat and my eyes locked on the screen. I don’t think my heart has ever pounded so hard in my chest while watching a movie.

2. The Wolf of Wall Street

Just a great film. Leonardo DiCaprio was nothing short of brilliant in his role, and the fact that this movie is based on a true story just makes it even better. Some of the best writing I have ever seen in a film. It is just an all-around crazy ride that you need to see to believe.

1. Captain Phillips

The moment the credits began to roll after this movie I knew I had just watched the top film of 2013. Tom Hanks killed it in the title role, including some of the best acting I have ever seen in the film’s climax. Meanwhile newcomer Barkhad Abdi was menacing as the pirate leader and Paul Greengrass’ direction was incredibly intense. The final ten minutes left me in shock and I couldn’t shake the movie off.