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If Disney Movies Were Historically Accurate

January 26th, 2014
By David Palmer

Picture
Also... the fact that mermaids don't actually exist.
1. The Little Mermaid
Ariel is in for a big surprise when she finds out how human babies are made. Fish fertilize eggs by the female laying them and then the male, for lack of a better word, crop-dusting them. To all you young kids out there, that is not how humans make kids. But human baby making is about to be the least of Ariel’s problems…

The BP Oil spills will wipe out most of her fish friends, if not her father’s entire kingdom so, you know…there’s that. Ariel is also only sixteen years old and is already married to what appears to be a full grown young man, but that is a story for another day.

Thanks for reading! Make sure to follow me (@D_Palm34) on Twitter for more musings and updates
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